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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.