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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Keep calm and drink on.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
This is a lousy dating site.
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
If you wake up with a chick and you dont know her name, take her to starbucks, they`ll write it on the cup.