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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!