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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
I`ve had this ant farm for a year now and these lazy bastards still haven`t grown any crops.
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.
Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn`t understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.