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I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.