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I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you’re listening.