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You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.