Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
Folgers got it wrong. The best part of waking up is going back to bed after you pee.
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.