Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The most annoying are those people in great shape at the gym…. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
The only time I`ve ever early to anything is when I`m dropping my kids off to be watched by somebody else.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor`s house is genius.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.