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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”