Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.