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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Horse racing is like NASCAR only slower and with poop.
If McDonaldΒ΄s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
I got kicked out of a fancy dress party on the weekend, because I was wearing nothing but a red shirt. Not my fault nobody has heard of Winnie the Pooh!!