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Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
I`m not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing!!
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
My kid’s teacher told me my kid is obsessed with video games and that I need to work with her on it. I’m like I do. I’m player 2.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
Youth is wasted on the young.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.