Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
I find that some of the best jokes are the ones that drag you in slowly and then leave you waiting in antici...
When someone says "Surprise me", I quickly drop my pants.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
"That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)