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Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
Do you ever wish that you could just unmeet someone.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.