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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
I try not to limit my madness to March.
Calling your girlfriend beautiful because you forgot her name.
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.