Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
When the girl working the counter says "would you like fries with that?" say.."are you calling me fat??" then burst into tears. Free meal.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
This recliner and I go way back.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....