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Marriage tip: Don`t
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
some mornings i wish i could sneak up behind my alarm clock and say, "HOW DOES IT FEEL?!!"
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.