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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
"What did you do today?" "I text messaged." :)
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.