Daily Silly Status

Partying on my level requires years of training.

I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.

Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.

I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals

Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?

Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.

Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.

The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.

If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.

I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.

LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache

The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.

I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.

My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy