Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges, to stop the weirdos from following you.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Whenever I get sick, I get my immune system drunk so it will fight anything.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops