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Accidentally bought a bag of raw almonds. Turns out I don`t like almonds, I like salt.
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
“Should I add more liquor?” is the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!