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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
"There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU." Things I say to my kids when we`re in public.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
A wasp just landed on my balls. Hardest decision of my life.
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.