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that awkard moment when someone`s laugh is actually funnier than the joke
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.