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No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
I had this awesome dream last night where Facebook went down and most of you went on a killing spree.
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.