Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
they say "money cant buy happiness" but money pays for my internet connection and my vodka so im thinking maybe "they" are wrong
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
Money can`t buy happiness, but somehow it`s a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than it is to cry on a bike...
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
The Drug Store cashier asked me how im doing as I put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "Not great man, I`ve got diarrhea" I told him.