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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
I was told there would be kool-aid.
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
Thursday doesn`t even count as a day, it`s just the thing that`s blocking friday.
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.