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Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
When I think of all the money I’ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
A real man should never wave faster than he says the word “hey”
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
I just found a $100 bill laying on the floor in the checkout lane. I don`t even have to try to find out who lost it, because it`s the same color, and has the same picture on it as the one I lost 2 years ago!! WooHoo, talk about fate huh??!!
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.