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I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
30+ and single? There`s an app for that. Wait. My mistake. A cat for that.
Hello...
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)