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wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?
Does the Food Network deliver?
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
I just want a reason to dramatically slide across the hood of a car.
For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Plus a social media overreaction.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help
Being an American is awesome. The end.
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?