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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
Some things are better left unsaid...That`s usually the stuff I blurt out right away.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-