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Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."