Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
Never, ever ask a woman if she`s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
Hard butter is the devil.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
I`ll tell you what`s wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.