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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
If I`m in your house and you have bookshelves... Be prepared to see me turning statues and bending down books while looking for your lair.
Warning: I just get weirder.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.