Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
I don’t just say crazy things on the internet, I do that in real life too.
I told my 4-year-old she couldn`t open any candy yet. So she ate a Tootsie Roll with the wrapper still on it. That kid is a problem solver.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.