Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
My wife said we could have a three way "when pigs fly" so I showed her a police helicopter.
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…