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Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
My pants are 75% off.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
PRO TIP: If you walk around the mall hitting kids in the face with the shopping bags, your wife won`t make you carry them.
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
The trick to farting in an elevator is wearing a suit. No one ever suspects the guy in the suit.