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If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
It’s not pretty being easy.