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Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.
Everyone has a purpose in life ... Perhaps mine is finding things to bitch about.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
No one answers their phones anymore... If I ever get arrested, I don`t want a damn phone call, I want a facebook posting.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.