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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
I can`t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.