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Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower?
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
Today`s subliminal thought is: …