Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m on this great new diet called "sleep through breakfast"
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
I`m never free but I`m available.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
I`m sure the guy standing at the urinal next to me, regrets wearing those flip flops today.