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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I`ve ever made.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
I never get nervous or embarrassed. That`s just some sh*t that sober people who leave the house have to worry about.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they`d leave that one on too.
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.