Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
"I didn`t get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
You make me want to be a drunker person
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.