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Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance