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I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you`re over 40.
Keep calm and drink on.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
How to cure a headache: 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Take me seriously at your own risk.
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.