Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me `Will you be putting it up yourself?` I told him, `No, you sicko, it`s going in the living room!`
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you’re hot.