Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
Note to self: stop buying stuff on Ebay when drunk. Anyone need a zamboni?
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.