Daily Silly Status

I like the parts of the day when food happens.

Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality

I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.

I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.

There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.

I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!

I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."

I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.

Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.

Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.

Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn’t that funny anyway.

And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.