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Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.