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Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
I like to think I`m special, because the thought of idiots like me existing in large numbers is f*cking terrifying.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married