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Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.