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The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru
I`d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly or a brown bear. But maybe like a care bear. I`d fight one of those sonsabitches for you.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
Wouldn`t ventriloquists be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts?