Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."