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I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
This day needs more tomfoolery!
Dear New Years Resolutions People; You don`t have to wait for the New Year to get your sh*t together and become a better person.
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.