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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
I think the cats are hording all the single women out there...
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
If your ever wondering who your real friends are all you have to do is delete your facebook account for about week without saying anything and see who calls
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.