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To the people that post 15 pics of your kid everyday,your kid looks EXACTLY the same as they did ystrdy,and the day before,and the day before that
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
A leaf blower, but for people.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
Even if your life was a total waste of space, there’s always hope that you’ll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.