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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
You know there was a time in my life where I just didn`t give a f#ck.....funny how it seems that much hasn`t changed from an hour ago!!
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.