Daily Silly Status

How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you

Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"

Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?

I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.

If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!

Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health

No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.

That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..

I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.

I don`t call it lying down, I call it landscape mode.

I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish ... I`m not even high.

Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.

Hey, car designers, you have kids, right? How is "limo window partition" between the front and back seat not an option yet?