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What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
Sometimes I speak in a different font but no one ever notices.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
Hi I’m a spider & I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
Apparently putting alka seltzers in my pockets while getting baptized and pretending I`m possessed by the devil is not funny.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.