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I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
Sweating is for people who do stuff.