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I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
is in no shape to exercise
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we`re having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tounge would get stuck to?
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.
Elevator music bothers me on so many levels