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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
Trying to remain humble but Iām the most famous person in my living room right now.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.