Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone`s food pics and posting the calories.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn`t have waffle cones but they had pictures of waffle cones. That guy was me.
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding. I drink wine in yoga pants.
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
Bad decisions make good stories.