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I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
If you want your team to win a sporting event just tell me. I will root for the other team. That will guarantee a win for your team.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
A piñata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.