Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Stretch marks? You mean sick a$$ lightning tattoos.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
I want you to know that whatever problems you`re having, I`m here to read about it on Facebook
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.