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"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it`s the right amount.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
I don`t think stupid people understand how much effort goes into not punching them in the face
"This is groundbreaking stuff." - Inventor of the shovel
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.