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Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
People: What a bunch of bastards!
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
I`m so fresh they call me "ferbreeze"
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.